Women of Opus Dei: In Their Own Words
By M. T. Oates, Linda Ruf, Jenny Driver, editors
The Crossroad Publishing Company, 2009
Opus Dei, formally know as The Prelature of the Holy Cross or Opus Dei and informally known as “The Work” or (depending on who you are talking to) a cult, is an organization of the Catholic church whose members are by and large lay people. The group, long shrouded in secrecy, came into the spotlight after Dan Brown’s The DaVinci Code hit the New York Times bestseller list.
The novel suggested that the women in Opus Dei are “forced to clean the men’s residence halls for no pay,” and remarked upon the broad subjugation of women in the order. And while the novel is fictional, the alleged “misconceptions” that arose in the fallout of the media attention surrounding The DaVinci Code provided much of the impetus for a new book: Women of Opus Dei.
A collection of essays and interviews by women involved in “The Work,” Women of Opus Dei is meant to set the record straight when it comes to the subjugation of women within the order. However, the hot pink book cover is a good sign that this book is anything but a manifesto for women’s rights. In fact, these women are trying to suggest that what seems like sexism isn’t really that at all.
We might be able to chock this all up to internalized oppression, as these women really do seem to believe in the “complementarity” of the sexes: that is, the idea that women and men do maintain equal dignity but have complementary roles. Take, for instance, the testimony of Claire Huang, a marketing executive who has attended Opus Dei’s spiritual programs for 20 years. When asked about the biggest challenges facing women in today’s society, she answered:
I think it’s a balance of work and family, love of family versus feminism, true feminism. True feminism recognizes that women bring different qualities to the workplace than men. Women can have a nurturing attitude and do things at work that are caring, but not sentimental; thoughtful, but not harsh. Women add warmth; that’s why motherhood is such a beautiful thing. True feminism means being everything that a woman is good at, for example, being efficient, multitasking, etc.
This “true feminism” sounds quite similar to the ideologies of the hierarchy of the Catholic Church which has asserted this “care” theory as reasoning for why women cannot take on leadership roles.
Claire mentions motherhood in her statement on “true feminism,” and this theme is carried throughout the book. Not all of the women in the book are mothers; however, motherhood seems to be 0 to 60 as they frame it. That is, one either has no children or gaggles of children—the mothers in the book have four, six, eight, and twelve children. Also, a woman either works or is a stay-at-home mom, with a few exceptions.
Interestingly, many mothers featured are graduates of ranking universities—Harvard, MIT, and Stanford, to name a few. Jane Reckart, a Stanford grad and stay-at-home mom, remarks on how Opus Dei helped her along to way to motherhood:
…I was caught unprepared for how debilitating pregnancy would be for me. I was sick, listless, and depressed for months with each pregnancy. I never would have had more than one or maybe two children if I hadn’t learned from St. Josemaria when it is difficult, and in sharing with them the love God gives to us, we are building up society and sharing in God’s work of creation.
If motherhood of women is uplifted in “the Work,” so is the “fatherhood” of God. The very first chapter suggests that we are “children of a father God” and that the equality of men and women “rooted in the Bible… stems directly from God’s fatherhood.” Unfortunately, the Bible passages referenced to support this notion of God as father do not include passages that frame God in a way that is greater than gender. It is like a trickle-down effect: framing God as father reaffirms male authority in church and society, furthers the subjugation of women, and so on.
The notion of the fatherhood of God as acclaimed in Opus Dei is something emphasized by St. Josemaria Escriva, founder of Opus Dei, who is exalted as a godlike person throughout most of the book. Every interviewee was asked the question “Did you ever meet St. Josemaria?” and his words are quoted exponentially more than that of, say, Jesus or the Pope. If one wanted to make the case that Opus Dei is cultlike, it is here that evidence could be gathered.
The book is not all so ominous, and neither is Opus Dei. The core principle of Opus Dei is this: as members of society we are called to “find and love God” where we work and live. At the most basic level, this is something that many people would approve of, and are already striving to do. However, the muckiness comes in how the members of Opus Dei are framing and finding God. This is where women get the short end of the stick. This is where the injustice comes in.
All in all, the defense of Opus Dei’s devotion to the equality of women as expressed in this book is unconvincing at best. In fact, for many, it might further the idea that Opus Dei is a deplorably sexist institution.
And while it might be as simple as brushing these women off as having “drunk the Kool Aid,” something bigger is at play here. Opus Dei is a powerful organization with members in political and church leadership throughout the world. As such, the mentality that negates the full and equal rights of women has effects far beyond the world of “The Work.”
Tags: catholicism, feminism, opus dei, women
Interesting that women's "inherent" qualities are described as nurturing, efficiency and multitasking ability, qualities that are needed in a pastoral vocation. Yet, women are denied the status of becoming pastors in the RC church. I suggest that if women obtained ordination and would fill leadership positions in the church, the "flock" would not be so sheepish.
I don't get it - where do you see women's oppression in this book? Women are not identical to men - that is a fact, not an oppressive one. Some women are mothers - that is a fact, not an oppressive one, even when women choose to have more than one or two kids. God is spoken of as a father in the Bible - that is a fact, and not an oppressive one, since God doesn't exercise fatherhood in an oppressive way, and the Bible speaks eloquently of the equal dignity of women and men. So where do you see oppression? I've read this book, and lots of women in this book are leaders, and leaders in Opus Dei besides. So, I really don't get what you find oppressive.
Yahoo - Opus Dei has special class of membership called Numerary Assistant. This class of membership is reserved exclusively for women. Numerary Assistants must pledge celibacy, just as Numeraries do, and are responsible for the cooking and cleaning in all of Opus Dei's residences. This class of membership is not open to men. If this is not oppressive, then it is at the very least an archaic concept of gender-roles. Then again, Saint Jose Maria once wrote that "women needn't be scholars - it is enough for them to be prudent".
As the book relates, one of Opus Dei's central messages is that all work has dignity and is pleasing to God if done with love and to the best of one's efforts. Women (and men) who join Opus Dei do so because they feel called, and they respond freely. Thus, to say anyone of them is oppressed strikes me as bizarre -- regardless of their professional work. Heidi, you obviously do not feel called to Opus Dei, especially not as a numerary assistant, but can't you at least respect the fact that someone might have a calling of that nature? If you read the accounts of the numerary assistants in the book, you can read first hand that they love their work, they are well compensated for it, receive good benefits -- including a month of vacation per year, and they are treated with respect and dignity. What's wrong with their choosing that kind of work and life? Why do you think that is oppressive?
I'm glad to see that Ms. Graham is at least minimally honest when she says that Opus Dei is not "all ominous." What I fail to see is how she concludes that the way Opus Dei members "frame and find God" is "mucky." Could it perhaps be "mucky" because it does not conform to a biased view of the faith?
Childs Graham writes: "Also, a woman either works or is a stay-at-home mom, with a few exceptions." The implication, obviously, is that stay-at-home moms do not "work." In Opus Dei, women are free to determine whether they need or want to work outside the home or work full time in the home. Whatever they choose, it's considered valuable work they can offer to God and serve others through. Childs Graham's reference of stay-at-home moms comes across as elitist and discriminatory.
Anonymous - I am not sure if all Opus Dei members choose freely. I do know that when they tried to recruit me as a teenager, I asked many questions about what was invloved in being a member of Opus Dei. I was repeatedly told that I just has to trust (my O.D. spiritual director). All I was trying to do was to make an informed consent, and I couldn't do that because they wouldn't give me any details. I do know some teens who trusted blindly and joined Opus Dei, only to leave later, totally disillusioned. Of course I respect everyone's chosen path in life, including those who join Opus Dei. However, I am not saying, as you suggest, that the work of a Numerary Assistant is some sort of slavery (although let's face it, their month of vacation is actually an "Annual Course" which includes spirtual formation and some leisure activities - not exactly a Carribean cruise. But I respect that!) What I don't understand is why the Numerary Assistant class of membership is not open to MEN as well as women. Is it beneath the dignity of a male numerary to do domestic work?
I've read some of the testimonies in this book. These women writers seem fulfilled and certainly don't evaluate their contribution to society, their families or the Church in terms of what men are (or aren't) doing. They are driven, focused and apparently hope to be counted among the great saints of the Church. I say if it works for them, let them be. Hopefully they manage to give a new, diverse and fresh face to the list of saints.
Thanks for your response Heidi. I think the increase in books and blogs about Opus Dei and by people in Opus Dei will help men and women make better, informed decisions about whether to choose to attend Opus Dei activities. Only a fraction of people who attend Opus Dei activities end up having a vocation to Opus Dei -- and they must freely choose whether or not to pursue that vocation. It's true that vacation time for numeraries, associates and numerary assistants usually involves attending "annual courses," much like many people increasingly choose intellectual and cultural cruises or trips. These courses are usually held at lovely conference centers located all over the world. It's probably not for everyone (especially someone who does not have the vocation), but for people in Opus Dei it's a way of life most enjoy and look forward to. Also, the hospitality management services of only some of the centers (centers of both men and women) of Opus Dei are carried about numerary and numerary assistant women. A number of centers (of both men and women) must oversee the care for their centers themselves. I have heard that St. Josemaria pursued having male numerary assistants early in the history of Opus Dei and found they were not good at the work, especially when it came to creating a home environment in the centers. Even when women in Opus Dei are entrusted with the hospitality management of a men's center, the men are expected to maintain the care and upkeep of the center to a certain degree. The women should and will refuse to work in an environment that is not well kept or properly equipped. And the men never directly interact with the women -- the women always work independently of the men (and women). The women are managing operations and services for the center. It's a professional operation. There are clear and distinct work zones. All men (and women) in Opus Dei should strive to live spirit of service in all work -- whether it be in the work of the home or at their place of work outside the home.
Thanks for your response Heidi. I think the increase in books and blogs about Opus Dei and by people in Opus Dei will help men and women make better, informed decisions about whether to choose to attend Opus Dei activities. Only a fraction of people who attend Opus Dei activities end up having a vocation to Opus Dei -- and they must freely choose whether or not they want to pursue that vocation. It's true that vacation time for numeraries, associates and numerary assistants usually involves attending "annual courses," much like many people choose intellectual and cultural cruises or trips. These courses are usually held at lovely conference centers located all over the world. It's probably not for everyone (especially someone who does not have the vocation), but for people in Opus Dei it's a way of life, and typically members enjoy and look forward to the courses. Also, the hospitality management services of only some of the centers (centers of both men and women) of Opus Dei are under management by numerary and numerary assistant women. A number of centers (of both men and women) must oversee the management for their centers themselves. I have heard that St. Josemaria pursued having male numerary assistants early in the history of Opus Dei and found they were not good at the work involved. Even when women in Opus Dei are entrusted with the hospitality management of a men's center, the men are expected to maintain the care and upkeep of the center to a certain degree. The women should and will refuse to work in any environment that is not well kept or properly equipped. And the men never directly interact with the women -- the women always work independently of the men. There are clear and distinct work zones.
I do agree that today there are many books and websites both pro and con that help to shine a light on Opus Dei and its members. Another point of view that might provide some balance here is Veronique Duborgel's "L'Enfer dans L'Opus Dei". Veronique, a mother of nine, describes her hellish experiences with Opus Dei - nothing like what is is described in the "Women of Opus Dei".
Me thinks that St. Josemaria may have made a hasty generalization when/if he attempted to establish male numerary assistants...and so now Opus Dei seems to accept as an axiom that all men are crappy at housework or creating a "home environment", so they don't have to do it anymore. How convenient. But how then, does Opus Dei explain why we have no male janitors, or orderlies, or nurses, or home decorators, or hotel managers, or stay-at-home dads, etc.?? On the other hand, I think I know how I can get out of cooking and cleaning ;)
Heidi - As the entry which you respond to mentions, men in Opus Dei centers often oversee the care and upkeep and management for their centers' themselves. And, as stated, even when women of Opus Dei oversee the hospitality management for some men's centers, the men are expected to provide a level of care and upkeep for their centers. Thus, it's hard to understand how you draw the conclusion that Opus Dei believes "all men are crappy at housework...." If you read the book Women of Opus Dei: In Their Own Words, several of the married members talk about how their sons, husbands and daughters all help in the work of the home. And it's normal that they expect that help from all members of the family - males and females. People are free to compare what's in Women of Opus Dei in Their Own Words with the book by the French woman. There is definitely a huge difference in personal experiences between the one French woman (whose husband left her and her nine children to live in a monastery) and the 15 women featured in Women of Opus Dei. Discerning readers will be able to draw their own conclusions.
Dear Fan,
I believe that we could quibble over semantics ad infinitum... "oversee the care and upkeep and mangement" does not imply, to me, that the residents (male or female) of any given centre actually perform all the daily tasks involved in the upkeep of a centre - the cooking, laundry, scrubbing toilets, etc. Those tasks are perfomed by numerary assistants, or they hire domestics (always women), to help with the work. That is why I conclude that Opus Dei believes men are crappy at "housework" - the kind of housework mentioned above - the kind of housework that required Opus Dei to create a special class of membership exclusively for females.
In reality , we both know that men are quite capapable of performing domestic chores of every kind. As you point out, the women featured in Women of Opus Dei: In Their Own Words witness to this fact, and I know that both my husband and son have been spectacularly successful at loading the dishwasher, pushing a vacuum, and cleaning out the lint filter in the dryer. :)
Come to think of it, wouldn't allowing men to become numerary assistants help to ensure that men and women never have to interact in centres of Opus Dei?
I do hope that discerning readers will compare the different experiences that people have with Opus Dei. I hope that they do not stop at Veronique Duborgel, or Women of Opus Dei : In Their Own Words as if the pain of "one French women" is negated by the joy of 15 Americans. I do hope readers will seek out other authors like Maria del Carmen Tapia, or any of the other testimonies available at ODAN or Opus Libros.
That's an interesting detail that you included in your description of Veronique Duborgel. What does the fact that her husband left her have to do with her experiences in Opus Dei? It seems like such a smug, jugdemental comment. Surely you are not blaming the victim for her circumstances. Do you believe that Opus Dei families always remain intact? Do you believe that members of Opus Dei are smarter, stronger, more put together and so are immune to tragedy or misfortune? Believing this might give you a sense of control but it comes at the expense of compassion. I know a number of Opus Dei wives that have been abandoned by their husbands, but that doesn't dimish them in any way. We are all vulnerable in this life.
Heidi - I feel very sorry for Veronique D. and believe she has suffered quite a bit. I guess I thought it was worth mentioning her sad marital situation to show that she had more than a bad experience with Opus Dei to be upset about. I did not mean to come across as smug and do not believe people in Opus Dei are smarter or better than anyone else. I as well know people in Opus Dei who have suffered from marital infidelity, divorce, etc. People in Opus Dei are just like everyone else and not immune to any of the hardships, personal weaknesses and suffering life brings.
I personally do not believe most men are great at creating a home environment. Yes, I think they can and should do the dishes and help with all the work of the home, but I do not think most of them naturally are attentive to noticing and taking care that all the various details are attended to the way most women do -- of course, some men are an exception in that, and some women are no good at caring for the home. Research continues to show that the work of maintaining the home (and creating a home environment) still falls mostly to women -- regardless of whether or not they have ever heard of Opus Dei or Jesus for that matter.
Plenty of men and women living in centers of Opus Dei have to take care of their own laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning. If some centers hire people to help with those services, isn't that nice they can offer employment to people who want work?
You seem to have an issue with the numerary assistant vocation. Does it offend you for some reason -- perhaps because it's a vocation only for women and their chosen professional work is homemaking (and that strikes you as retro in terms of the women's movement)? Why is that a problem if a women chooses that?
Fan,
I can only share my first hand experiences and observations (which you will find are echoed in the many websites and blogs devoted to helping those who have had negative experiences with Opus Dei). In the centres of Opus Dei that I have attended, it was always Numerary Assistants who permormed the domestic work. Were they happy? I don't know. I guess some were and some weren't.
Do you really need research to show that women still do most of the housework? Of course most domestic work is still done by women. You don't need to do any studies to prove that. That is a global reality. It's also a reality that in many cases, women work as domestics because they are not encouraged or expected to do anything else.
Domestic work is not called menial for nothing. It is work that is generally performed by a servant or someone with a low stature - in most cases, that means a woman. White washing it with a fancy name won't change what it is. I am not saying that it is not honourable, worthy work. Besides, somebody has to do it. And I am not saying people can't be happy performing this type of work. As you point out, both men and women in Opus Dei do domestic work (although as I said - not where I live.)
So again, I have no "issue" with the Numerary Assistant vocation - if it has been freely chosen. So, I will ask again, and hope to not hear crickets chirping... why does Opus Dei not open the Numerary Assistant class of membership to men?? Can a man not find fullfillment in domestic work?
I'll try to put the dots even closer togther: It is not a problem if a woman freely chooses to be a Numerary Assistant. But why can't a man?
Heidi-
I share your concern about why there are tasks within Opus Dei that only women can do; however, I think your concern would best be addressed by someone in some sort of leadership position within Opus Dei. But I doubt that their response would be satisfactory to you. In fact, I doubt Fan's response to your question would be satisfactory to you. Perhaps it's best to just let this one go.
Anon - believe me, this conversation with Fan became very tiresom a long time ago.
I don't need a leader within Opus Dei to explain their appalingly sexist practices to me. That would be like asking an apartheid leader to explain racial segregation.
I do believe however, that we need to maintain a very bright light on the questionable practices of Opus Dei, like how they regard and treat women.
If my neighbour keeps slaves, or sells drugs to the neighbourhood kids, is it o.k. for me to just turn a blind eye and "let it go" because we disagree on the morality of the issue?
Many years ago, I took my infant son to a centre of the work in the city where I live. Of course, all the women there gushed over my new little one. An assistant numerary who was there took my son for me while I was chatting with a numerary. I noticed her later in the hallway with my son in her arms, posing in front of a large mirror like Madonna and Child. It was heart-breaking. But it made me seriously wonder about this woman's vocation.
In any case, I will continue this conversation as long as Fan or any one else wishes or as long as the this comment box remains open.
Today is the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. I will pray for allwomen today and ask Mary to intercede especially for the Numerary Assistants of Opus Dei.
First of all, I'm majorly computer-challenged, and I can't figure out how to use my name and NOT be anonymous. My comments below should explain why it doesn't make sense for me to be anonymous. Oh well...here goes...
Hey, guys. With back-to-school shopping and end-of-summer sleepovers (school starts for us tomorrow), I haven’t had a chance to post until today. With that delay, now my comments have nothing to do with the current conversation, but I’d like to add them anyway.
Woo Hoo!! I was thrilled to see that the book to which I had contributed an essay, Women of Opus Dei, had elicited a book review. This is the first time my work has been publicly reviewed, unless you count school-day reviews by my instructors and my mom. And I was even mentioned by name! Imagine my disappointment, when, upon reading further, I realized that I was so badly misquoted as to make my quote unintelligible…I readily admit that I don’t always speak in coherent sentences, especially when the dryer breaks, or when the kids track mud through the house, or when the spaghetti turns to mush because I’ve forgotten it AGAIN, but usually when I write, I do make an effort to be articulate. What I actually said was: “I never would have had more than one or maybe two children if I hadn’t learned from St. Josemaría that in generously welcoming children into our family, even when it is difficult, and in sharing with them the love God gives to us, we are building up society and sharing in God’s work of creation.” I heartily invite all of you to read Women of Opus Dei so you can see for yourselves what we said about being part of this “Work of God”.
I want to thank Kate for reviewing Women of Opus Dei: In Their Own Words. She and I obviously have different points of view about fatherhood and motherhood and what equality means. But I respect her perspective and am grateful that she took the time to write the review. That was very generous. One matter I take issue with in the review is when she writes: "Also, a woman either works or is a stay-at-home mom, with a few exceptions." In fact, of the women in the book who are married (8 of the 14 women featurd in the book - excluding the Forward), 5 of them work outside of their homes and also raise their families at the same time - one of those 5 was an MD with six children; she founded the Hospice Movement in the US, which has helped millions of dying people and their families.
Many women worldwide who are stay-at-home mothers actually believe what they are doing is work (professional work at that). The way Kate words that sentence makes me doubt that she considers what they do to be work, or at least "real" work.
As the book explains, St. Josemria was radical in the 1940's and throughout his life when he repeatedly proclaimed that all women can and should pursue all professions. He encouraged the women in Opus Dei and indeed all women to seek the highest level of education and professional work they aspire to. He also proclaimed that the work of stay-at-home mothers and the work of creating a home is a valid and very important professional work that profoundly affects the lives of women, men and children. He pointed to the work of Mary, the mother of Jesus and that of the Holy women in the bible who cared for Jesus during his public life as examples of how Jesus valued this work. A key to understanding the spirit of Opus Dei is that all moral work -- regardless of the value society or the markets place on it - has value and dignity before God if it is done with love.
I am happy to see that the review has created some robust exchange.
My name is Jeanne Murray. The last chapter of the book tells about the positive impact Opus Dei has had in my life. Your review expresses your opinions about the book, the Catholic Church and Opus Dei. I recognize that as your job. On the oher hand, my life and the lives of tens of thousands of the members (women and men) of Opus Dei, do not experience the "subjugation of women... getting the short end of the stick...injustice or ... a mentality that negates the full equality of women". From our perspective, Opus Dei, founded by Josemaria Escriva through the inspiration of God, the Father of Jesus Christ and our Father, has invited us to live the life of Jesus ourselves-a life of dedication to God and the people around us. We find that a most noble, worthwhile and fulfilling calling.
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