Mel Gibson’s ‘To-Do’ List

The following is a guest post by Becky Garrison

Every wonder what some of today’s Christian leaders do on a day-to-day basis? We managed to get a hold of some of their to-do lists which should give you an idea of what they’re up to these days.

Jim Wallis

1. Keep digging until hit common ground
2. Give Glenn Beck a noogie
3. Clean up donkey dung in Senate chambers
4. Register God to vote
5. Email Bono that just joined R(ED)

Glenn Beck

1. Give Jim Wallis a wedgie
2. Order assclown costume
3. Bring cotton candy to the media circus
4. Conduct taste test to find best chalk
5. Buy extra-strength Depends
6. Polish tinfoil hat so can wear it to Restoring Honor Rally
7. Find E.T.
8. Phone home

Sarah Palin

1. Conference call with Smokey the Bear to map out guerrilla grizzly action plan
2. Primp for photo shoot with Today’s Christian Woman
3. Order camouflage Bible
4. Call Pat Robertson for spiritual guidance
5. Put hubbie on short leash
6. See if can find any prayer warriors willing to go all biblical on Levi
7. Send Rush a belated wedding gift

Mel Gibson

1. *&^%^%$#@!!!
2. Mail in donation to Christians United for Israel
3. Promote The Passion of The Christ
4. Drink
5. Drive
6. Repeat

Pope Benedict

1. Order unkosher communion wafers
2. Get a little behind in work
3. Party like it’s 1483
4. Two-four-six-eight, who should I excommunicate?
5. Order Mother Teresa sticky buns
6. Fine vendors selling Pope on a rope

Bristol Palin

1. Pray for mom’s soul
2. Buy Revolve 2010 (Biblezine)
3. Get Promise Keepers application for Levi
4. Become a True Woman
5. Baby Making Time!
6. Refill prescription for Prozac

Spencer Pratt

1. Get saved again by Stephen Baldwin
2. Buy soul from eBay
3. Cancel membership in Promise Keepers
4. Send in application to Army of God
5. Drinks with Mel